Okay… so I haven’t posted in FOREVER and I am literally the worst “blogger” in the world. When I started this blog it was going to be partially about vegan cooking, plant based diets, etc… well that’s over. We have decided that we love dairy products, and meat… and we will eat them within moderation. #worstvegansever. I will still be including fun recipes here though. The next post will be a yummy snack called “Energy Bites” that I got from my friend Kristi.
Aaron and I have been married over a year and half now and I have learned so much in this past year. I am head over heels in love with this man. He is patient with me, teaches me things I didn’t even know I didn’t know, humbly listens to me, seeks my advice and counsel, and acts kindly when I am sharp and not so lovable. He seeks out ways to be intentionally loving and continues to show me how to walk with Jesus. It is through his example that I am learning how to love and serve the people in our lives, and what it means to be a disciple of Jesus.
I am sitting here sipping a warm cup of coffee trying to figure out what to write. Trying to think of what I would share if a friend was here sitting across the table, and she asked “tell me one thing God has been doing in your life the last year.”
To be totally honest the last year has been somewhat difficult! I have been asking God to invade my heart and change the way I see the world I live in. It turns out, that is a challenging process and a pretty radical thing to ask for. It will wreck you, in the best way ever.
I want to see things how God sees things, and see people how He sees them. I want to love those around me with the love that I receive from Jesus. The process of developing character and a heart in line with the heart of God is a painful and exposing process that never really ends. I actually have to address my failures; my judgements of others, my fear, my jealousy and selfishness, and do something about them. It is easier to ignore the bad things and just walk through life my own way, instead of recognizing my own brokenness. But what would a life of selfishness and bitterness really accomplish? I want to love God and love people, and I can only do that well if I rest in the presence of God and ask Him to change me.
One example of where I see God working, is the way I see others. I am learning that the world we live in sees things upside down, as did I for a long time, and often still do. When I started following Jesus and began allowing the Holy Spirit to work in my heart and life it was like putting on a pair of Jesus-tinted glasses. I saw people differently. The lady on the highway that cut me off, for example, I now saw her as a person that was probably in a hurry to pick up her child from school, or having a bad day; maybe a fight with her husband still painfully lingering on her mind was causing her to not pay attention to the road, instead of seeing her as just a jerk who cared little for anyone but herself. I am learning how to see people in the situation they are in, instead of my own situation. Everyone has their own life they are living, and judging someone’s entire character by the 30
second interaction you have with them, seems so absurd now. How do I know what is going on in their life that caused them to act a certain way? I am coming to see that you can only focus on so much, so when you focus more on others, you have to focus less on yourself, and that is a really good thing. In my highway cutoff story above, for example, I would normally just focus on myself and my own frustration, now I just take a second to pray for that lady, and in turn I completely avoid getting frustrated or annoyed.